Stuff I Consider Bullshit: How I Feel About Toy Karma

It's a word I hear thrown around a lot, toy karma. I don't think it really hit it's stride till the popularity of the Toy Hunter show. I don't care for the Toy Hunter show and I'll go into greater detail in the near future. In fact, I'll go so far as to say I hadn't really heard of the term till it's repeated use on the show. Now I hear everyone talk about it, throwing it around but I'm fairly sure they don't know what they are talking about. I have to say that when I hear it, I wince and close whatever tab on my browser it came from. I hear it and I'm almost feel like it's some kind of open-ended threat like, "Oh yeah, send me something good and I'll get around to sending you something junky that you'll just have to accept because it's a trade in good faith." Seriously, it's shit like that I've dealt with personally and it makes me sick. Almost to the point of just not dealing online.

Firstly, I need to get something clear, I am nowhere near stingy. I have random giveaways and I always pack the boxes with extras. Everytime I pack a box for a sale or a trade, it gets filled with extra goodies. Every transaction that leaves my house gets a little something extra packed it. I don't think of this as toy karma, I think of this as being a decent person. Early in my toy dealing career I would do business with some friends I made overseas. I'd get whatever Godzilla or Ultraman figure I was buying but I'd also get like an old magazine (sometimes a month old or a few years old), some candy, another smaller toy....just whatever. I came to find out it's a very Eastern way of doing business. Later on I'd see KidRobot adhere to the same cultural ideal when doing business with them. Which I have to say the Dunny Swatch we got from them was the coolest thing in the box and we didn't even order it. It's a way of life I adhered to a while back and I don't expect anything in return, I think I'd feel bad for expecting someone to reciprocate when it wasn't part of the agreed deal in the first place.

Now, this last year I had gotten sucked into five open-ended trades. Two panned out and to be honest I felt like it was a little one sided when you give six vintage Star Wars figures and get modern Happy Meal toys from the last couple of years or incomplete 90s Toy Biz Marvel figures. And somehow I feel like a poor sport complaining but I'd rather had held onto my vintage extras and I sent the pile of Croods Happy Meal toys back to the sender and terminated communication with them. The other three never came to fruition and it's probably for the best. I'm not going to hound someone to come through on their end of a deal, I'm just going to remember it down the line when something else comes up. Everything I've given away (and that's how I pretty much consider it because I donated those toys when it comes down to it) I'm not going to miss, I've got plenty of stuff to burn through but I do have to say I'm personally insulted.

I have to say the personal insult I've endured is what makes the phrase a turn off for me. And I know people who don't mean it in the way my brain has misconstrued it and I know I can't be the only person that has gotten seriously jipped in one of these transactions.

Ultraman's Jamila from Bandai

Jamila originally was a human astronaut who got lost in space while piloting a manned satellite. And believe it or not, Jamila is a woman! Crash landing on a distant alien world without water or air, she somehow not only survived but actually adapted. Pissed off to no end because her superiors hid the accident from the public and counted her as missing in action, Jamila returned to Earth in an invisible spaceship ( just hang with me on this, it's invisible because it's just moving way too fast. I'll avoid making obligatory female driver jokes.) to get her revenge by attacking a peace conference in Tokyo. Ultraman and his crew show up and engage the monster with common weapons (guns, flamethrowers, bombs) but they prove to be useless. I mean the monster looks like a walking herpes scab, I'd shoot some lotion on it.

(for your viewing pleasure)

Ultraman and Jamila do battle in front of the World Peace Conference and it's a fairly decent battle, both opponents are skilled fighters. It wasn't till the end of the episode when Ultraman was able to weaken Jamila enough that he could use his ultimate weapon, the Ultra-Shower (yes, I laughed uncontrollably for 5 minutes after reading that subtitle.). Anyways, Jamila falls to the ground but unlike other monsters that Ultraman fights, the team chooses not to obliterate her but give her a proper funeral and a plaque. A real honor to her memory (happy now, yeesh!).

Jamilla is one strange looking figure, but it captures everything the monster was in the show. Its a giant white monster that's body looks like the bottom of a fat person's cracked callused foot, no neck and low shoulders. Deep sunken eyeballs hiding in the sockets stare out at you glazed over without the hint of a pupil. When it comes to paint, sculpt and scale, Bandai doesn't disappoint. Honestly, Jamilla was the only Ultraman monster that scared me as a child. I'm not sure why, maybe it's because it looks like a circus sideshow freak and that if it had a voice it would probably sound like Billy Bob Thornton from Sling Blade.

Kilazee from Ultraman: Towards the Future by Bandai

(for lack on actual show footage, I must rely on the SNES to give us some visuals)

A monster from Earth's past destined to destroy it, the winged monster Kilazee made his appearance in the final episode of Ultraman: Towards the Future. The final battle in any Ultraman series is usually something to stop and take notice of and this is no exception. This red dragon of death and destruction was nearly impervious to all human weapons, it even sustained a direct hit from a nuclear weapon and did nothing more than shrug it's shoulders and flapped it's wings in response. Looking like the end was certainly near, Ultraman Great took on his final opponent atop of the the great mountains in the secluded outback of Australia. Even though Kilazee seemed indestructible, Ultraman Great triumphed by using his last Great Slicer and Star Beam to kill the beast before picking it up and carrying it into space. Neither was ever seen again.

The Bandai Kilazee figure is leaps and bounds better than the Dreamworks American release. Granted the Bandai figure is smaller and the paint application isn't as good, but the textures and details sculpted into all 7 inches of this figure makes it a feast for your eyes. This version is much more show accurate in detail and fits in with the rest of the Ultraman saga figures from Bandai. The only thing I feel is lacking from the figure is the lack of paint applications. Take into account, the Dreamworks figure has a more colorful paint application but is still far from show accurate. On a personal note, all of the monsters from the Towards the Future line are really hard to find. I've been collecting for years and I'm still 5 characters short of a complete set of this line, Bandai never really went into any great degree of repaints/ re-issues of characters from the Towards the Future line making the figures very collectible and commanding higher prices on a secondary market.

Ultraman's Pestar from Bandai

Pestar has appeared in 2 episodes of the Ultraman saga, this figure represents his debut in Ultraman: the Ultimate Hero or as it's referred to Ultraman Powered. The stories are fairly similar with only a few barely noticeable changes. In Ultraman Powered Pestar is an aquatic monster that's staked out a prime oil tanker shipping route as his home and has become very territorial and hungry for the sweet Texas Tea carried on those vessels. The WINR at first tried to pursue and the monster using a high tech submarine called the "Barricuda" but they didn't take into account how huge Pestar was and after a decent undersea battle, it escapes. The WINR warns the shipping companies of the dangers of that particular route, which is brilliant if they planned on luring the beast out of the ocean for round two.

(do forgive the awful song in the background. Feel free to leave hate messages on that person's youtube page, it's deplorable.)

The very next night Pestar shows up again and goes straight for an oil refinery to satisfy it's thirst for oil, but sure wasn't expecting Ultraman Powered to show up. Caught off guard, Ultraman Powered makes short work out of Pestar by tossing that big boy in the air and firing his Mega Spectrum Ray at the monster. Destroyed in true Ultraman fashion (e.i lots of cheesy sparkles and stock explosion noises) the ocean is safe again.

(Patrick's big brother heard you talkin' shit. Oh, you're awfully quiet now.)

Some of the main differences between the first introduction to Pestar and the Ultraman Powered version is the whole body has been redesigned. The edges of the body are covered in suckers and Pestar's head looks even more menacing, like a bat mixed with the Predator. Also the end fight is slightly better, as in the fight lasts a whole 90 seconds longer and Pestar actually gets a few good hits in.

(here at Raging Nerdgasm, we like big butts and we cannot lie.)

Pestar, to me at least, turned out really cool in figure form. Leaps and bounds better than the Marusan edition, Bandai really did an amazing job capturing how cool the character's design is. He's a big, bulky bastard and while he may not offer any articulation whatsoever, he makes up for it with sheer attention to detail and texturing. The paint job is spot on, even the light metallic flake on Pestar's backside does a great job at highlighting his bumpy exterior. Displaying a figure as wide as Pestar is becomes the only peeve, just because there isn't much room left on a shelf when he takes up residence. Originally, the figure was more expensive that other basic Ultraman figures upon it's initial release in Japan which has translated to an often higher price on the secondary market.

(I'm gonna eat your face!)

Ultraman's Gerukadon from Bandai

As seen in Ultraman: Towards the Future, one night an abandoned carnival was reactivated by mysterious circumstances (yep, it's already creepy beyond belief). When the local police arrived to check it out, the legendary monster Gerukadon affected the officer's minds. Completely overcome by fear, the officers fled the scene while Gerukadon gained power from the Gudis device hidden in the abandoned carnival. One thing leads to another, like in the case of all Ultraman episodes, and the monster finally arrives to stomp the crap out of buildings and bring about the appearance of Ultraman. The fight is quick and to the point, Ultraman blasts Gerukadon with his power beam and the day is saved by our silver and red friend.

(This show was the reason I became an insomniac at an early age. It wasn't very popular in my market which won it a 5am time slot on Sunday mornings.)

All in all, I'm not a fan of this episode. The story is weak, it's fairly boring and with this episode being Gerukadon's only appearance in the Ultraman saga makes him one of the more forgettable characters. Unfortunate since I rather liked the monster's design; giant lizard with a beak, four arms and bat wings. But so was the case with most of the characters from Towards the Future, great designs and poor stories.

(I am vengeance, I am the night.......I AM BAT-LIZARD)

I'm rather fond of this version of Gerukadon, I prefer him to the larger American release from Dreamworks (not the Steven Spielburg special effects company, but a short lived toy manufacturer). The colors are much more vibrant and the sculpt is more like the monster from the show. The only detracting point is the silver accents, I think they could be duller and do more to compliment the color scheme in my opinion. Articulation on this particular figure is rather plentiful; at 2 of the shoulders, hips, waist, neck and mid tail. In the end, he's one of my favorite one episode wonders.

Kaiju Lagoon- mini jumbo sized King Joe by Bandai

King Joe was sent by the Pedan aliens as their main weapon to conquer Earth. Arriving on Earth in the form of 4 ships, the Pedan's ultimate weapon laid siege to a naval fleet until they garnered the attention of the Ultraseven crew. By the time they arrived to provide a counter-attack, King Joe was long gone and on to it's next target. As the four ships arrived at a U.N. Embassy they combined to reveal King Joe's full form, a giant frickin' robot with some strange protrusions (ie- giant electrode tits on his head, a rainbow window chest and what I can only describe as bongos on his ass and hips.) Even with the countermeasures hidden at the embassy, King Joe seemed near indestructible.

(pretty decent scenes)

Ultraseven soon showed up to save the day but couldn't seem to breach King Joe's Pedantic Armor. Soon after exhausting a good deal of his energy, Ultraseven found himself pinned to the ground and became the recipient of some absolutely viscious bitch slaps, courtesy of King Joe. At this point Ultraseven decides the best thing to do is pass the fuck out and hope this alien quits pummeling him.

As King Joe turns his back to Ultraseven, the hero lunges forward and knocks King Joe on his glorious golden ass. Incapable of getting back up again(most likely due to his bongo ass), King Joe splits into the four ships and flees with Ultraseven in pursuit.

It was then revealed that the reason for King Joe's attack on the Embassy was due to a scientist who had found a chemical that is highly reactive with Pedantic Armor, which also explained why the Pedan Aliens have come to Earth as well. King Joe returns, arriving in Tokyo Bay where it trashes a few oil tankers till Ultraseven shows back up. King Joe once again totally owns Ultraseven in a pretty decent fight, even though his weakness is getting knocked on his ass. But Ultraseven has a WMD full of that Pedantic reactive chemical which he shoots at King Joe, short-circuiting and destroying the robot once and for all.

King Joe is in my top 5 favorite Ultraman bad guys (in no particular order Baltan, King Joe, Dada, Pestar and Red King). As the Ultraman story evolves, so do his villains but this version of King Joe is my favorite. No techno cannon, no monotone paint scheme, just very true to the original design. Simple and slick looking with the perfect shade of gold on his suit and a rainbow effect through the “honeycomb” on his chest. The main thing I like about the figure is it's huge! Over 12 inches tall and with some serious weight to him, I've been impressed and desired this figure for years and was finally lucky enough to acquire one through Planet Retro Gallery care of my wife for Valentines day.

Ultraman's Satan Beetle from Bandai

Satan Beetle is the monster "pet" of Alien Clean, who was sent to our planet seeking vengeance on Earth for the missile testing that decimated her home world. Satan Beetle's task was to wipe out humanity and all the pollution they had caused to presumably allow Alien Clean to colonize Earth. Upon it's arrival to Earth, Satan Beetle doesn't waste any time and proceeds to destroy everything in it's path. Soon enough, Ultraman Leo decides to battle the gigantic insectoid kaiju in order to save humanity once again. To be honest, it's a fairly quick fight where Ultraman Leo stomps the crap out of Satan Beetle and even tears one of it's wings off with a lazer finger blast. The brutal fight ends with a mighty Leo Kick and Satan Beetle sparks up like a firecracker and explodes in true Japanese TV fashion.

(dig that crazy 70's synth beat)

The figure is fairly basic, it looks like a friggin' bug covered in horns. The paint scheme is dull but so was the character design in the show. Basic sofubi articulation at the shoulders, neck and hips; really nothing exciting here. Overall, Satan Beetle isn't one of my favorite characters from the Ultraman Saga and I've yet to find any hardcore fans of him either. I think it's just the overbearing tones of the character's model, a creation sent to Earth to destroy us for being dirty and inadvertently destroying a planet that 99.999% of us didn't know was even out there. Even the episode, with the exception of Ultraman beating the everloving shit out of the monster, feels like a 30 minute Greenpeace commercial.

(toy porn, because you deserve it)

Ultraman Powered's Zetton from Bandai

In this series, Zetton was a mecha created by the Baltans to dispose of Ultraman, once and for all (cue evil Baltan laugh track!). So you have Zetton coming to earth and attacking WINR's base to draw Ultra out for a fight. Soon after, the military comes to save the day but finds themselves out gunned by this technical terror. Even Ultraman finds himself Zetton's bitch in an epic one sided ass kicking contest. It's only after fooling Zetton into turning his back that Ultraman kills Zetton, but at the cost of his own life from using up all of his energy. A real tear jerker, sacrifice yourself to save the world from being under the domain of blue Egyptian-styled crawdaddies.

(I'm well aware that this isn't the right series, but bask in the joy of the best Japan has to offer. And, in espanol!)

This version of Zetton is perhaps the most unique design ever done for this character. I mean, the other characters from Ultraman Powered were drastically overhauled, but this one really stands out. This version is more robotic than any previous design and has some really cool looking wings on his back. With this one having wings possibly suggests that originally Zetton has wings, hence the wing shells on its back that have never really been utilized other than adding to the bug aesthetic of the character overall. I've had the pleasure of owning 2 other Zetton figures but was never aware of this version before I ran into it at a collectibles shop. All other Zetton figure I own are roto-molded vinyl while this one is completely solid and Zetton's wings are unfurled. The paint job captures it's TV counterpart perfectly; black offset by steely silver and yield sign yellow makes the figure stand out from the rest. The only thing someone may complain about is the range of motion is very limited; swivel joints at the shoulders and just below the knee. This figure still impresses me to this day and I highly recommend you find a way to add this piece to your collection.

IT CAME FROM THE FLEA MARKET- EPISODE 2- THE PHANTOM FLYING TURTLE

Gamera 9 inch figure by Rocketpro of America

  I'm a huge Japanese vinyl collector and I've always been of a mindset that the bigger and more detailed pieces are the ones most worth collecting. Don't get me wrong, I have a vast amount of 6 inch scale sofubi but the ones 9 inches and taller are really eye catching. It's a pretty easy task, over the years I've upgraded my largest Godzilla 3 times and my largest Ultraman twice. But, I came to a stalemate when I started pursuing a larger and nicely detailed Gamera......until one day at the flea market.

I had run into several issues while trying to locate a decent Gamera. Most I have from Bandai are poorly sculpted and just never did the character justice. Over the years Gamera has had some image overhauls and every figure to represent those falls short of impressing me. And it's not limited to scale, I've had 6 inch to 12 inch scale figures and models of Gamera in my hands and each one was insufficient for my collection. I searched for over a year before I lucked into a version of everyone's favorite flying turtle I hadn't seen before.

While visiting my friends at Weekend Warriors Comics at the Oldsmar Flea Market I had stumbled upon this gorgeous piece. Released by X-Plus/Rocketpro in the late 90's, Gamera stands 9 inches tall from top of the head to bottom of the foot and is incredibly well detailed. Rocketpro is the American branch of X-PLUS of Japan, known for making really nice and well detailed heavy gauge vinyl figures. The figure originally belonged to one of the co-owners and had been in his collection since he'd bought it out of a Diamond Distributors ad, unfortunately it had been banished to storage due to lack of display space until he felt like parting with it on this fateful day. After purchasing it for a more than fair price, I happily dusted it off and proudly displayed in a place of honor. This version is the best I've seen and I encourage fans to buy one for their own collection.