Raging Nerdgasm Movie review - Monster Brawl

I've already admitted to being a 80s and 90s wrestling nerd, I loved the outlandish characters and entertaining stories. I also admitted to being a huge dork when it comes to the classic monsters so when I heard rumblings of a movie from a few years ago that mixed those two elements together I thought, "Sounds pretty groovy, I'm down for it." Luckily my curiosity was quenched with my subscription to NetFlix and it was showtime....Monster Brawl.

 (Monsters plus wrestling? What could go wrong?)

Monster Brawl starts off looking like something just this side of a junior college film project. The shots are a little more revealing than they should be and the close ups are not clean, think SyFy channel movies from 2 years ago or more. The concept is a supernatural wrestling promotion that pits legendary monsters against each other for the bragging rights of heavy weight champion of whatever the fuck they made up. Surprisingly the star power isn't too shabby with Dave Foley, Art Hindle and Lance Hendrickson (well, in voice only but they must have paid him well for his Mortal Kombat-esque commentary). There's also a handful of wrestlers in the movie like Kevin Nash, Robert Maillet, Jimmy Hart and Herb Dean (OK, he's MMA famous but still) but I don't officially commit to calling them star acting power. According to IMDB the budget was a conservative 200K in Canadian dollars so it looks like they really spent every penny on discount Halloween props and Red Bull energy drinks.

(This is what I got the displeasure of seeing.)

The premise is 8 classic monsters face off in a battle to the death to establish who is the number one biggest badass in the supernatural world. And they do so in a wrestling ring, ala' WWF style. I'm fond of Asylum Entertainment's movies (like Sharktopus or Ghost Shark or Sharknado) but this sounds like the crap I would come up with as a little kid playing with my action figures when I decided I was bored using Macho Man to fight Hulk Hogan. The explanation isn't rushed, it's partially missing. For lack of better terms, Dave Foley trips through the exposition like a one legged man playing hopscotch in a mine field. I don't think it was his fault though, he probably couldn't do much with what script there was if it wasn't fully ad-lib to begin with.

(Once you see the amateur effects, you can't unsee the zippers and cosmetics.)

Each monster gets a rather rushed backstory and the "fights" are really slow moving. This is a premise that would have done better turned into a webisode series. The only redeeming part of any of the fights is Lance Hendrickson's commentary during the fights as an unseen entity. Think the voice in Mortal Kombat that would laugh or say "superb" or "excellent". Many of the monsters have special powers they never really explained, they mention the powers just moments before the character uses it. Did you know the Cyclops has an energy beam he shoots from his eye? Well neither did I until seconds before he blew away some hideous hag cleverly named Witch Bitch.

(I expected so much just based on the concept and these promotional posters.)

And then there's the monsters. Cyclops, Frankenstein, Zombie Man, Witch Bitch, Swamp Gut, Werewolf, Lady Vampire and the Mummy. All of those monsters I was moderately OK with until they mentioned Swamp Gut. What's a Swamp Gut? Well, take the Sasquatch and mix in Creature from the Black Lagoon and Swamp Thing. Then crap it out and look at the abomination that's been born. Needless to say I think it's a weak character that could have been easily replaced with another pseudo knock off monster. And I'm not sure who's costume was worse, Swamp Gut or Cyclops. Both characters you can see parts of the guy in the costume under the bad special effects make-up. Like I said, the movie spent the budget at a Spirit Halloween store on November 1st.

(What I was hoping for versus what I got.)

If you have 89 minutes to waste and a few beers to kill, I suggest either watching this movie or maybe doing something to better yourself. Click the link below to see a list of worthwhile movies that also last 89 minutes or less. The top one is Zombieland, which is an enjoyable Halloween-y film if that's your style.

http://www.imdb.com/list/wUQ9uZBSHQ8/

RNG Cartoon Review: "Jem" She's Truly... WTF!!!

By Ana Bruja-Khayos from Living With A Toy Collector

With the up and coming hype behind the live action Jem movie, I finally broke down and watched the classic animated show.  You might laugh but I really didn’t get to watch Jem as a kid.  1) I lived in a very strict pentecostal home, and 2) I was simply too young to enjoy the show.  When Jem came out back in 1985 I was 4 years old and living in Puerto Rico.  By the time I was 7 years old in 1988 the series was off the TV screens.  However, I did remember catching the theme song here and there in Spanish and all that I have to say is that the singers who dubbed the Spanish version really needed a Prozac or two  to cheer them up as they sang they upbeat song. It was sad to listen too just like many horribly dubbed Spanish shows.

Now In my early 30’s I decided “Why the Hell Not”,  I’ll totally watch Jem to see why so many hard core fans love this show.  Plus is on Netflix so I have nothing to lose. 

The Show:

The first episode in the series opens with the horrible news that Jerrica Benton father has just died and she was in the middle of a legal battle with her father's partner, Eric Raymond, to retain the rights to manage her inheritance along with a record company called Starlight Music her father left to her.  In the middle of the conflict she meets up with a holographic computer created by her father called Synergy which allows Jerrica to create her rock star alter ego called Jem. Because the fate of her inheritance was riding on a bet surrounding a Battle of the Bands by Eric and Jerrica, Jerrica use her alter ego Jem to create the band called  “Jem and the Holograms” to compete against Eric’s Band the Misfits.  Jem and the Holograms won the bet  and that’s how the story began.

To the left the Misfits (Roxy, Pizzazz,Stormer,and Jetta) and the right Jem and The Holograms(Jem, Raya,Aja,Shanna, and Kimber) as of season 3.

The show has a handful of main cast including;  Jerrica Benton who is the owner of Starlight records and Starlight Home Orphanage; Rio who is Jem and The Holograms manager and Jerrica or Jem’s boy friend.. I think ;  Jem  lead singer of the band and Jerrica’s holographic alter ego;  Senergy who is magical computer in which the band could not be possible if it didn’t exist; Kimber Benton is Jerrica’s youngest sister who plays the keyboard in the bad and writes the songs; and Aja Leigth is the guitarist and Shanna Elmsford is the drummer who are Jerrica’s and Kimbers adopted sisters. Later on the series they added Carmen “Raya” Alonso as the new drummer while Shanna went on to play guitar. All five girls represented the magical marketing word called “diversity” by having a  main cast that is white, black, asian, and hispanic cultures represented in one show.  All tho I have no idea what Rio is supposed to be… maybe Brazilian, Italian, Hispanic, Hawaiian, Native American,... Who Knows????

The Stingers (Rapture, Riot, and Minx) from Season 3

 As a supporting cast they have the bad guys who are Eric Raymond  who is trying to steal the company away from Jerrica, and the Misfits which has Pizzazz as a lead singer and guitarist who is also incredibly rich and is a horrible stereotype of what happens when rich people spoiled their kids and never say no to them, Roxy as the second guitar player who I’m not quite sure why she is in the Misfits because she’s really a good guy in disguise, Stormer plays the  keytar… yes a KEYTAR… Google it up...  and she’s just angry and illiterate, and down the line they added British Saxophonist called Jetta who is  a con artist and a royal piece of work.  As the season expanded into season 3, they added another rival band called the Stingers but to be honest by this point I think most of us lost track of all the crazy drama and it seem they were trying to hard. Oh by the way you also have 3rd rate banana characters that included Dance, Video, Clash, Erics heacham  #1 and #2, and the girls from the orphanage.  These characters appeared randomly and some were allies of Jem and the Holograms but they were not featured in every episode.

What I think of the show

To be honest the show totally took me by surprise.  All these years I thought he show was a very Barbie Bimbo type of show but in reality the show had some very complicated relationships, morbid moments, and dark situations that really keeps you watching. Best way to describe it is “My first Soap Opera”. The main complicated situation is how Jerrica continues to mess with Rio (her long time boyfriend) by constantly cockteasing him with Jem.  Rio was trying to stay loyal to Jerrican but Jem (who is really Jerrica) constantly throws herself at him as her holographic self  Jem and confusing the crap out of the poor guy who doesn’t realize he’s really not cheating because she is really the same girl.  What gets even more screwed up is how Jerrica gets mad at him because she is Jealous of her self as Jem, and doesn’t know if Rio loves her as Jerrica or as Jem.  You follow me yet???? Yea!!! Totally screwed up.  Plus Jerrica/Jem refuses to tell Rio they are both the same person and the complications in their relationship(s) continue to degrade more and more through the series due to Jem secrezy of her true identity and how Jerrica is always too busy to spend time with Rio as herself.

Rio and Jerrica's/Jem's Screwed up relationship(s).

The bad guys on this show are as screwed up as the main cast.  I’m convinced that the Misfits are the main reason why guys think all women are crazy. Just within the first few episodes they could legally be charge with destruction of private property, theft, attempted murder, reckless driving just to name a few.  Their manager Eric Benson is no better and can be charged with kidnaping, fraud, and the list of charges goes on and on.  The other band, The Stingers, weren’t any better.  In the entire series I think there was only one episode in which the bad guys were arrested for doing something wrong.  The rest of the series no cops to be found. Go figure.

The show has some inconsistencies that sometimes I had a hard time tracking.  For example on the first episode Jerrica was supposedly a girl in her teens, but with in the first few episodes it seem that was thrown out the window and all of the sudden Jerrica/Jem and the Holograms were treated as if they were in their early 20’s witch to be honest allowed them to get away with more stuff. I already talked about how screwed up Jerrica/Jem situations is towards Rio and Rio swinging back on forth on that.  Jerrica’s young sisters Kimber had several guys she was fooling with and she seem to trade them up like man candy  and switch between them like a pair of dressing shoes until later on in the series.   Then there’s the strange crazy kind of sort of relationship Jem had with the lead singer of the Stingers Riot.  She never liked him but in some episodes she kind of did but in other episode she’s trying to get away from him.  I don’t know… it all makes great school girl TV. 

All in an all the show is very addictive.  Between all the screwed up situations, sad tear jerkers, and all the songs they played per episode this series is A-OK!! I highly recommend re watching it before the movie is released next year.

About the Show:


Jem ran from 1985 to 1988 and it has 3 seasons equaling a total of 65 episodes.  Jem was created by Hasbro and the animation was produced by Sunbow Productions animation studios.  Sunbow Production is also well known for creating other popular animated shows in the 80’s such as the original My Little Pony, G I Joe, Transformers, Jem, Bucky O’Hare and the Toad Wars, The Tick, just to name a few.  Just like many of our loved cartoon characters, Jem actually had two personalities playing her on the show. Samantha Newak as the voice of Jem/Jerrica and Britta Phillips sang the intro song along with the rest of songs in the series but she also was the voice of Kimber and Aja.  Other casting voices were Cindy McGee as the voice of Shanna, and Linda Dangcil as the voice of Raya.

Each episode feature 3 songs, one which was a full music video.  This included the two variations of the intro song, the music video in the episode and the end credits which was always “Jem- Truly, Truly, Outrageous”.  The show made it a point to make sure the music videos had a look that was easily associated with the rock videos seen on MTV in that time period.  The show did a very good job giving each band a very unique sound to their music.  Jem and The Holograms had more a pop sound to their music, The Misfits had underground punk rock sound, and for the Stingers they had a seductive sexy rock groove to them.


While on the air the show averaged around 2.5 million viewers weekly and it aired in countries like US, Australia, Canada, UK, Germany, Netherlands, Italy and France.  The show received several awards and also had it’s own toy line.  Sadly Hasbro’s Jem and the Holograms dolls were competing with Mattel’s Barbie and the Rockers dolls.  Due to poor sales they were sold at a discounted price but they continued production with the show until 1988. If you din’t get your Jem doll back then don’t worry, Hasbro along with Integrity toys decided back in 2011 that they will release a new collectible version of the Jem dolls that retailed on their released date in 2012 at a whopping price of $135 each.  They are truly OUTRAGEOUS but beautiful dolls and an amazing quality that stay true to the original show.

Live action Movie

To be quite honest I don't’ know much about the live action movie except that they just started production in April of 2014.  I personally don’t recognize any of the movie stars they casted as the Jem and the Holograms but I’m willing to give it a chance.  The movie will be directed by Jon M Chu witch has directed  Step Up 2, Step Up 3D, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never, and the G I Joe Retaliation movie.  So far the G I Joe movie is the only cool movie listed under his resume. LOL To me so far the poster for the Jem Live Action Movie looks cool so I’m crossing my fingers on this one.

5 RaNdOm AcTiOn FiGuReS

Forgotten Prisoner Jiggler



I like jigglers. For those who don't know what they are; jigglers are rubbery figurines from the 60s and 70s that often have an elastic cord to hang them from and have the pleasant smell of gasoline (yuck). You can usually find them made into animals or sometimes superheroes but my favorite category are the horror jigglers. The horror jigglers were always twisted and grotesque looking representing different types of maniacs, corpses, demons or even the Universal Monsters. They are one of my favorite sub-genres of vintage toys.

The Forgotten Prisoner jiggler I've had for as long as I can remember. Originally I found it in a pile of Halloween decorations at a thrift store when I was really young and I was nearly a grown man before I found out what he really was. I like the strange and unusual toys and this one was never disappointing. Along with my Callisto from Major Matt Mason, these two pieces followed me to college. It may have only lasted a semester but it was fun while it lasted. I hung him from my rear-view mirror because no matter how rare a toy may be it's still just a toy. I took him out of the car a week later when I thought I had a fuel line leak and found out it was the stench of the Forgotten Prisoner.



Hasbro Ultimate Warrior


It seems I write a lot abut wrestling figures, which is funny because I didn't own too many growing up. I may have owned 4 or 5 until I was 16 and started working at KB Toys. My parents had no problem with me watching it, hell the reason I didn't own a ton of wrestling figures as a child was because I was told I could either rent the pay-per-views and go to the live events or own the toys. I picked having the real experience instead of just playing with the toys. Anyways, in my adult years I bought a lot of wrestling figures and sold off all but my LJNs and the few Hasbro figures I obtained over the years.

The Ultimate Warrior was one of the most intense wrestlers of the mid 80s to early 90s. Crazy, day glow face paint and wearing enough tassels to make a girl's bike envious, the Ultimate Warrior was one of the more memorable characters from the WWF. Even his anti-smoking ads with him ripping a cigarette box apart with his teeth was so out there they only played it a couple of times. Hasbro made a few different Ultimate Warrior figures, I always liked this one with the gorilla press slam feature. Just the ability for a figure to throw another one clear across the ring was the coolest thing in my mind. I also like that they got his "tan in a spray can" color just right on the figure. That shade of orange is a really happy color.



Demolition Man Simon Phoenix

Say what you will about me but when I think of my top 10 favorite disotopian themed futuristic movies, Demolition Man is damn near around 6 or 7 on my list. The figures could have been better. OK, the figures have about as much to do with the movie as alcohol at a Mormon wedding but what can you say; they were re-purposed New Adventures of He-Man figures for the most part. I never owned any of these figures till recently, I never had any interest in tracking them down. I came across Simon in a $1 bin at a yard sale, I still feel like I may have overpaid. My wife said he looks Puerto Rican and nothing like Wesley Snipes.

Also, I'm very disappointed in Mattel for not giving us a Glenn Shaddix figure. Are you telling me I must trudge through life using my Otho figure for every Shaddix worthy moment?


DC Comics Superheroes Two-Face


I've always loved this ridiculous figure. He embodies everything I liked about Two-Face when I was a kid reading Detective Comics. The two-toned suit, the disfigured green face and the absurdly huge dime in his hand. Wait, what? Every figure in the Toy Biz DC Superheroes line had to have an action feature or they were just a boring piece of plastic, right? Come on Toy Biz, you let Riddler get away with being packaged with fortune cookie fortunes so why did you have to fuck with Two-Face?

I enjoyed this toy as a kid strange enough. I know my parents hated the whiny grind of the gears turning Two-Face's oversized dime. Especially because I would use him to make decisions like a magic 8 ball. I also really liked the Bob the Goon figure from the same line and hated the Hawkman figure so let that sink in about what kind of kid I was. In closing I will say the fact Two-Face didn't even have the option of an open hand to hold a gun was a disappointment.



Pizza Face from TMNT


This was my absolute, all time favorite TMNT figure made from 1988-1996. The only thing I could say is while some of the figures were mutants based on animals or intergalactic creatures from other worlds, Pizza Face is just gruesome. Missing a leg and a pinkie figure along with bad teeth and probably poor personal hygiene habits, this guy looked like a walking health code violation. In a book I picked up a few years back that was a production "bible" for the first 5 years of TMNT figures it showed Pizza Face was supposed to have a removable chef's hat and "alien" head under it which would have made the figure even cooler but was probably cut to keep costs down.

The cleaver was also my favorite accessory from the line outside of the errant plunger you might come across.

Tank Head by Jesse Destasio and Eric Nilla

This year I decided that with cutting a lot of junky lines out of my collection I could finally start to dive into designer toys. Whether they be original sculpted designs or cobbled together out of several different existing figures, I want to add some of these pieces of modern art to my collection. Also, with some upcoming announcements in Raging Nerdgasm's future, I figured it was time to really get oriented with the field. Some of these toys are made of resin which is a material very close to a hard plastic in nature. It's easily sanded and takes paint very well. Some are made out of rubber very reminicent of the original Kinnikuman keshi (or rubber M.U.S.C.L.E. men from Mattel). Lots of these "homebrewed" figures are visually amazing and I'm really enjoying adding some totally original pieces to my collection.

Eric Nilla has an amazing store online where he specializes in not only fully original figures but also offers some really cool reproductions of older keshi from the last 30 years. Jesse Destasio has been designing toys that may very well be on your shelf right now with his tenure in the toy industry. For the last few weeks, Eric Nilla and Jesse Destasio have been "teasing" images of Tank Head. Tank Head is what you'd expect for a custom take off on the classic Kinnikuman line; a muscle-bound man wear boots and tight wrestling trunks with a tank turret for a head. I don't usually get crazy for a toy on pictures alone but with the background of both people involved in the project, they had both my admiration and trust that this toy was going to be awesome. It didn't disappoint in the least.

Tank Head comes in a customary baggie with stapled on header. This is a normal way for figures like this to be packaged, normally the more involved a package is the more expensive the toy is and it harkens back to the bootleg toy culture that spawned this toy style. Those of you that follow Jesse Destasio on social media will automatically notice his artwork adorns the header card (I, for one, really do enjoy his watercolor art).  Tank Head stands nearly 3 inches tall which gives him an intimidating look amongst your other 1 1/2 to 2 inch tall figurines. The value is also high on this piece, for $19 shipped you're getting a really unique figure that other collectors will really take notice of. The tank turret is also removable, if you feel crafty you might feel obliged to create your own head for the body (and I'm sure to make way for variants in the future.) Check the website for current stock and also upcoming releases as his store stock is always revolving.

                                     

RNG Anime Review: Wolf Children

By:Ana Khayos

It’s been over a year since my husband and I gave up cable and been dipping neck deep into the world of online streaming. So far we have been getting our moneys worth with Netflix, but recently I’ve been exploring the world of Amazon Prime with some of my friends.

Tonight was movie night.  I prepared the dinner while my friends browsed for something to watch.  When I came back from the kitchen there was this amazing trailer playing for a movie called Wolf Children.  The trailer clearly stated that it was by the director who did Summer Wars, which was just amazing, so I was hooked and was excited to see it.  Neat less to say that it was worth the 3 day rental for $3.99 on Amazon Prime.

The Story

The movie focuses on the narrator's mother Hana who fell in love with a Wolf Man (werewolf).  She proceeds to tell her mothers love story, and the tragedy that leads her to become a single mother who had to raise two unusual young children who are also Wolf People by the name of Yuki and Ame. Everybody knows that being a married, widowed, or a single mother is a tough job especially since there’s no book to tell you how to really raise your kids.  Now imaging raising wolf cubs/kids by someone who is now raising children by herself and has no experience with wild animals. 

The movie does a wonderful job in converting a difficult and normal situation for a mother with young children to be even more difficult when she is trying to hide her childrens unique condition.  Simple things like having a young child being sick becomes a question between taking the child to the pediatrician or the vet. 

All in all, the entire movie echoes around one question “When you grow up, do you want to be human or wolf?”.  The mother sacrifices everything to make sure her two wolf kids have the chance and freedom to make up their minds when it comes to this important question in their unique lives.  Hana drops her studies, gives up her life in the city, moves to the country and learns to live a simple frugal life of secrecy while learning how to live off the land like other local farmers.  The movie will have moments that bring you joy and other moments that just make you cry because of how close you can relate to the main protagonist challenging situation. Is just a phenomenal story.

About the Movie

The film was produced by Studio Chizu (known for Wolf Children), and Madhouse Studios how has a very long portfolio of animated films including The Animatrix (short), Batman : Gotham Knight (short) , Death Note, Metropolis, Millenium Actress, Paprika, Paranoia Agent, Perfect Blue, Summer Wars, and Vampire Hunter D just to name a fraction of their well known work.   

The story was created by Mamoru Hosoda who also co wrote the screenplay and directed the film Wolf Children. You might recognize some of his work as director in several productions for animated tv episodes, movie, animated intros and shorts such as Summer Wars, Samurai Champloo, One Piece, Superflat Monogram (short), and Digimon : Digital Monsters . He also has credentials as a writer, a worker in the animation departments, and art department in other several productions such as Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, Girl Revolution Utena, and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time.

Mr Hosoda life experienced in the animation industry is well reflected in the quality of his work.  In 2012 the movie itself was released in 34 different countries and territories, and it was second highest grossing film in Japan on it’s day view weekend July 21-22, 2012 beating Pixar’s film Brave who was released in Japan that same weekend. On it’s opening weekend the movie grossed better than his previous movie Summer Wars (1.6 billion Yen) with an astonishing 4.2 billion yen making Wolf Children the 5th highest grossing movie in Japan of 2012.  Since it’s released the movie has won several awards internationally captivating audiences all over the world.

Conclusion...

I would love to learn more about the actual production of the film being an animation junkie my self.  All in all I give this movie at 10 out of 10 especially if you are an older adult in your childbearing years (late 20’s to 30’s).  You will find a lot in common with Hana and the challenges she faces to provide for her family. Sorry... if you are looking for explosions, action scenes, giant robots and scary blood thirsty monsters this movie might not be for you.  If you would like to see a good solid story about human capability, perseverance, sacrifice, family, love and complex relationships between several characters this movie is for you.   Love it. I must buy a disk copy for my collection in my bookshelf.

5 random action figures- the 2nd coming

(more pictures of what's below and more here)

Mr Bones, MMPR evil space alien

I'm not even sure why they subtitled any of these guys as "evil space alien". Most of them were made from clay in Finster's workshop (yeah, I just went there. Sentai nerd out) and never existed before that. I mean I guess they were from space (the Moon), they were evil and they weren't from this Earth (I think it's stretching the title "alien" but maybe that's just me). Overall, I enjoyed the MMPR series and wished they had kept making a 9 inch figure out of every monster they fought. In the end, they selected a good bunch of Rita's minions to produce but some left even the young Tom Khayos asking "why?". I love King Sphinx and Goldar but Baboo and Finster in the 9 inch scale were let downs. Those two never fought anyone, they were better known for cowering and running for cover. They didn't even make a Rita figure, a huge disappointment to both me and every other fan of the series.

Mr Bones was by far my favorite one Bandai made. I liked creepy looking characters and what's creepier than a giant skeleton in a pimp hat, pimp cape and a giant sword? Not much else if you ask me, this figure was 100% awesome. So awesome in fact that my first one's cape ripped and I asked for a replacement one for Christmas the same year. I wanted one to keep pretty and one to play with, made sense to me. Mr Bones embodies everything I enjoyed about the series, over the top bad guys that didn't have to make sense. All they had to do was look bad ass and Mr Bones was certified bad ass.


Amanaman from Star Wars: Power of the Force 1983

Amanaman was probably one of my first real toy pursuits. I've always been a laid back collector but when I "discovered" the vintage Star Wars line in the early 90s, I was dead set in getting one of each figure. Most were easy to find and cheap to buy, back before the nostalgia kicked in around 1996; common ones were a buck or two a piece complete but harder to find Power of the Force figures fetched higher prices. I remember paying $15-$20 for a Death Star Gunner and $12 each for the couple of Ewoks from the final 19 figures in the complete collection. Some were worth even more than that, and being during a time before eBay you were at the mercy of the dealer.

Amanaman was one of those figures that didn't show up often at all. I'd see them at the collectibles shows but I was always just shy of affording him. I think I paid $45 for mine in 1992, it was worth every penny to round out the collection. Granted I didn't count Yak Face or Blue Snaggletooth because they were special figures, either only available in a catalog or overseas markets. I liked him a lot and still do. I always sort of related that he was some kind of banana peel alien from who knows where. I know he's closer in appearance to a snake or a cobra with stubby ET legs and long orangutan like arms but I like my concept better. But, he was the first toy I felt accomplished bringing home. Also, he was the most I spent on one piece outside of a video game at that time in my life.


Major Munch from Food Fighters by Mattel

Picking a favorite Food Fighter is like saying pick you favorite child, how can you hold one higher than the others? Luckily, I'm a ruthless bastard with little regard for feelings. I like Major Munch for dozens of boring reasons. I like him because he's tall and not squat like Mean Wennie. I also like that there is a pink frosted variant. Look at his face, LOOK AT IT. He will eat your soul! I could go on but I'll stop short of boring you. I have soft spot for humanoid food items locked in what seems to be a never ending warfare in my fridge.


Toy Biz Onslaught

I was the right age when Toy Biz released the X-Men toys back in the 90s. I was an impressionable lad, ripe for being sucked into the general brand-whoring of the Generation X gap. I had them all, what ones I didn't buy with my own allowance or chore money I asked to get them for birthdays and Christmas. Very few illuded me, those that did were eventually re-released or came out with an updated sculpt or paint job. All save one, Onslaught. he was certainly a bigger figure than most released around the same time. Not taller by much but certainly wider and heavier too. He bordered on being one of the largest basic figures released outside of a deluxe line-up.

I didn't come across Onslaught until a few years ago. I was too cheap to pay eBay prices for a loose and complete figure. Even if the price was right, shipping pushed the final total way out of a reasonable range. These figures were fun and the only source for comic book related toys for a decade. They pale in comparison to what's available today and look a little silly when stood against their better sculpted and articulated counterparts but there's still a slight charm about them. Especially the bigger ones.

Gundam SD Devil Gundam

I'm not going to even try to lie, I love the Gundam series but I know squat about it. My wife on the other hand is like 3 series shy of having watched every saga they've made to date. I just like robots and the crazier the better. Something has to catch my eye, make it stand out from the group. When I say I like robots, I'm very selective. I like Gundams but I'm picky about which Transformers I buy. I love everything about Shogun Warriors but much rather buy one of the 2 foot tall robots than 10 of the smaller 3-5 inch tall ones.

One day toy hunting my wife and I came upon a box full of disassembled SD Gundams. Normally my ADD would have kicked in and I would have walked off without buying a single one but after seeing my wife enjoying piecing together a couple of them made me want to jump in. We stood there in the summer sun for 20 minutes piecing together 33 SD Gundams. Now, once again I'm picky when it comes to Gundam figures. I like the models but they either need to be never opened or put together by a professional or if I buy the figures I prefer the figurines or vinyl figures. These fit the bill of my long list of prerequisites but the Devil Gundam stood out amongst the crowd.

In comparison he's the biggest one of all, with a segmented body and crab claws. Also the rear of the figure opens to display a launchpad  for the other SD Gundams to literally fly out of his ass.

Stuff I Consider Bullshit: The Toy Hunter show

I think all of my toy collecting and toy dealing career I've wanted to see a show revolving around my world. The characters, the interactions, the friendships, the enemies, the conventions and everything in between is a prime breeding ground for a hell of a show. Closest they got in the last 2 decades was Storage Wars and the assorted pawn shop shows, it's relatable but not as close as I'd like. They made one step closer to making good on my wildest dreams with Comic Book Men, but I have to say it falls flat of being a viable show to keep my interests outside of a couple of random 10 minute viewings. I hate to say it but without Kevin Smith's name attached to it the show would have fallen flat before the end of the first season. Then the light at the end of the tunnel, a show that would finally accomplish what other's couldn't (especially in this land of reality TV); Toy Hunter.

(and this is supposed to be the representative to my world?)

While at first I was excited to hear about it but certain things just didn't bode well for the show. I will admit I might be a hard person to please but doing what I've done for as long as I've done it, I'm their hardest sell in the market. The host is the owner of Hollywood Heroes, Jordan Hemborough. Jordan is a travelling toy dealer who I hadn't really heard of before 2008 and someone who should seriously put a little money into updating the company's website. The premise revolved around him and his assistant collecting an assortment of toys and collectibles to sell at upcoming shows. The premise is dry and predictable, the buying scenarios are set ups which is fine because it's not really reality TV and the finds (while they are astounding) are not really followed up by much of any background on the treasures he finds. So the show is barely a surface representation of what makes the hobby as interesting as it is. The star of the show I've met on two occasions, I can't say much about him that would be fit to print; I'll just say I'm not a fan of him on a personal or professional level and leave it at that.

(yeah, don't handle them by the bubble you f*cking savage)

I could go into great detail on how I would improve the show or how I would pitch a show of my own for network TV but I'd hate to see my ideas used without credit. I'm a writer by trade and profession and have seen my work plagiarized enough in one lifetime. While the Toy Hunter show has a good skeleton but it could use a different flair. The hosts/stars are boring, there's no explanation to the average "joe" why these treasures are so desirable, the buying / hunting scenarios are set ups (and not very good ones at that) and the constant chase for money (while it is a motivation to do what we do) makes the show just kind of dry. There's no appreciation for the "how" and the "why", it's just assumed people know why it's rare and how much it's worth. I feel the money chasing aspect of the show alone has greatly damaged the fun of toy collecting.

(I now understand why Elvis shot his TV)