Stuff I Consider Bullshit: How I Feel About Toy Karma

It's a word I hear thrown around a lot, toy karma. I don't think it really hit it's stride till the popularity of the Toy Hunter show. I don't care for the Toy Hunter show and I'll go into greater detail in the near future. In fact, I'll go so far as to say I hadn't really heard of the term till it's repeated use on the show. Now I hear everyone talk about it, throwing it around but I'm fairly sure they don't know what they are talking about. I have to say that when I hear it, I wince and close whatever tab on my browser it came from. I hear it and I'm almost feel like it's some kind of open-ended threat like, "Oh yeah, send me something good and I'll get around to sending you something junky that you'll just have to accept because it's a trade in good faith." Seriously, it's shit like that I've dealt with personally and it makes me sick. Almost to the point of just not dealing online.

Firstly, I need to get something clear, I am nowhere near stingy. I have random giveaways and I always pack the boxes with extras. Everytime I pack a box for a sale or a trade, it gets filled with extra goodies. Every transaction that leaves my house gets a little something extra packed it. I don't think of this as toy karma, I think of this as being a decent person. Early in my toy dealing career I would do business with some friends I made overseas. I'd get whatever Godzilla or Ultraman figure I was buying but I'd also get like an old magazine (sometimes a month old or a few years old), some candy, another smaller toy....just whatever. I came to find out it's a very Eastern way of doing business. Later on I'd see KidRobot adhere to the same cultural ideal when doing business with them. Which I have to say the Dunny Swatch we got from them was the coolest thing in the box and we didn't even order it. It's a way of life I adhered to a while back and I don't expect anything in return, I think I'd feel bad for expecting someone to reciprocate when it wasn't part of the agreed deal in the first place.

Now, this last year I had gotten sucked into five open-ended trades. Two panned out and to be honest I felt like it was a little one sided when you give six vintage Star Wars figures and get modern Happy Meal toys from the last couple of years or incomplete 90s Toy Biz Marvel figures. And somehow I feel like a poor sport complaining but I'd rather had held onto my vintage extras and I sent the pile of Croods Happy Meal toys back to the sender and terminated communication with them. The other three never came to fruition and it's probably for the best. I'm not going to hound someone to come through on their end of a deal, I'm just going to remember it down the line when something else comes up. Everything I've given away (and that's how I pretty much consider it because I donated those toys when it comes down to it) I'm not going to miss, I've got plenty of stuff to burn through but I do have to say I'm personally insulted.

I have to say the personal insult I've endured is what makes the phrase a turn off for me. And I know people who don't mean it in the way my brain has misconstrued it and I know I can't be the only person that has gotten seriously jipped in one of these transactions.

Raging Nerdgasm: My soft spot for glow in the dark toys

I collect a lot of toys. That should be appearant when fans watch my videos, read my blogs or visit my website. Most of the time I have a list of requirements a toy has to meet before I buy it. Monsters, robots, Japanese/Import toys, DC comics, Batman's rogues gallery, Batman the animated series, bootleg, knock off, obscure, unique looking, vintage (older than 25 years), Mego, sci-fi movie, horror movie, ETC. That's just a small example of these requirements, it goes on and on and it's reflected in the diversity of my collection. Mr. Freeze standing next to Blanka from Street Fighter 2, Batman pulling the arm off of a Resident Evil zombie and Godzilla fighting Schwarzenegger from Commando is just a portion of the madness you might witness on my shelves. But there is one stipulation alone that beats all, the elusive glow-in-the-dark feature.

(green glowing gun from Toxic Crusaders)

(glowing boobs, always a fan favorite)

(mint in package, guaranteed to keep your virginity the same way) 

(a send off to the original)

(groovy green glow)

(Atomic Cornholio!)

I can't explain it, I really like toys that glow in the dark. Whether it's the full figure or just a part of it (hands, face, eyes, weapons), I'm strangely drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I've bought toys I normally would pass up and kept toys I'd normally sell or trade just because it glows. I recently picked up a Bison from the Street Fighter movie figures that I would have probably sold or traded but when I noticed his hands glowed in the dark, he found himself sitting on top of my dresser. I've bought and kept kids meal toys, blind boxed vinyl, GI Joes and other lines I'd normally pass over just because it said glow-in-the-dark on the box. I've even bought silly repaints/repackaged figures because it glowed (i.e- "Radioactive" Cornholio from the Beavis and Butthead figure series).

(one of the few MOTUC figures I kept)

(good to point out to many folks who are just as interested in GITD toys, kids meals often have them)

(reissued Marx Universal monsters set)

(Burger King Kid's Meal Kid Vid)

(glowing trolls, you can die happy)

(exposed skin and guts glow, just the right ambient light for a horror marathon)

(didn't even know that his hands glowed till I was sorting the weekend's finds)

Maybe it's slight insanity, possibly it's the pleasant green color that radiates out from the toy or it could just be a mental defect in me caused by the lead in the plastic but I enjoy my glow-in-the-dark toys. I know everyone has their toy quirks, not that I feel bad about mine. Some people like mini figure toys, some collect exclusively 1/6th scale figures; while I don't restrict myself to one genre I do enjoy hunting down GITD figures. There aren't many of them out there, so it makes it a fun challenge and I can't say I'm obsessed because I have passed up toys that glowed that I thought were less than interesting in my time. What's your toy collecting quirk? I want to know, I know every collector has one and now I'm curious what my fellow readers like.

(it must run in the family, this is in my mom's collection of dolls)

1978 Bendy Godzilla from GLJ

If I was asked which character in history has had the most impact on my life, I would have to say Godzilla would more than likely outrank Benjamin Franklin but would be just about equal with Nikola Tesla. Godzilla has been a very big part of my life, it was the first monster movie I was introduced to as a child. Throughout my earlier childhood and up to her death, my grandmother bought me Godzilla toys for my birthday on a yearly basis. Several Imperial brand Godzillas, the Shogun Warriors one from Mattel, numerous model kits and even a couple of Horizons large vinyl figures. She had a connection with someone in her doll club who's daughter was a professional wrestler in Japan and every so often I got 3-6 inch Bandai vinyls too. This, of course, led me to buying Godzilla and other Kaiju toys into my adult life. But there has been one particular Godzilla I've wanted for a very long time.

(I just like this photo.)

(carded photo care of www.plaidstallions.com)

Well, there's several I want to add to my collection but one in particular that's been slightly out of my price range and pretty much unbeknownst to me until recently. Back in the mid-late 70s, AHI made many monster related toys. Granted, for an officially licensed product of Universal Studios and by today's standards the designs are comical and childish looking but they hold a particularly fond place in my heart. I mentioned in an earlier blog I had acquired an AHI Dracula and I consider him a prized possession, but it fueled the fire to acquire more of the collection. These are a pricey venture, even loose and beat up AHI bendies fetch $30+ and I just can't consciously spend that much on something I know I'll find in a 4/$1 bin at a flea market. I'm good at biding my time till a deal comes my way. Even Creature from the Black Lagoon and King Kong got in on the AHI bendy action but, sadly, no Godzilla. He wasn't part of the Universal Monsters, Godzilla belongs to Toho and Toho rarely ever licenses their brands outside Japan. But one day while searching Plaid Stallions website I found the perfect Godzilla to compliment the AHI collection I was amassing.

(www.flickr.com/photos/ragingnerdgasm)

(www.flickr.com/photos/ragingnerdgasm)

A company I'm still researching about released a licensed Godzilla bendy very much in the same vein as the AHI monsters. In 1978, GLJ released a bendy Godzilla on a very goofy looking card depicting the figure itself engaged in battle within what looks like a model train table. Honestly, the creativity makes me want a carded example even harder now. During one of my recent trips to Planet Retro in downtown St Pete I saw a loose bendy Godzilla nestled between different sofubi in a glass cabinet. I was already there on another mission to buy something for my wife so I had to take a gamble and leave it behind till my next payday. The owner of the shop and I are cool and he would have held it for me, I just have a strange thing about being one of "those guys" who gets into a habit of having friends hold things for me till I got the money to buy it. I'm very particular how I handle business, I pay people what they want and if I can't afford it then let someone else buy it. It's a strange thing to some people but being a vendor at times myself, I've gotten to be a very "money talks" kind of guy. To make an already long story short, I came back and bought it.

(www.flickr.com/photos/ragingnerdgasm)

(www.flickr.com/photos/ragingnerdgasm)

Finally getting the GLJ Godzilla in hand makes me happy I didn't get him when I was a kid. I was never rough with my toys but he has a feel about him like he wouldn't survive long in the pocket of an rambunctious 7 year old. He's the right color green to be complimentary to the memory of the Godzilla he represents and the spines that run down his back and tail are painted white at the tips so the stand out against the green. The whole body is given a black paint wash to make what I assume is their idea of sculpted scales to pop out. The scales in question make Godzilla look more like your fingers after a long swim, all pruned and wrinkled. The look on Godzilla's face is somewhere on the scale of "I want to give you a hug" and "I want to give you a hug and poke you a little with my penis....and maybe eat your face". The big goofy grin is infectious though, I could just sit and stare at this toy and still get the same kind of joy out of it in a year from now that I'm getting at this moment. It is a bendy and while all of the wires in mine are intact, the thickness of Godzilla's body prohibits much of the movement. The tail bends freely but only looks good in it's original prone position. I still consider the toy a win for myself and my collection, I wouldn't have bought it if I hadn't felt differently. There's a lot of crappy Godzilla merchandise but this is far from it.

(www.flickr.com/photos/ragingnerdgasm)

(www.flickr.com/photos/ragingnerdgasm)

Bootleg Larva Mothra by unknown maker

Mothra has been one of Godzilla's most prolific “friend-emies” over the last 4 decades. Appearing in over 15 movies, we've been bombarded with several incarnations of Mothra over the years. We've had Mothra in her egg, larva stage, cocooned and the ever important final stage (hint, it looks like a moth). Always by her side are the twin tiny high priestesses, called the shōbijin (or small beauties), that translate and interpret the monster's every thought. When Mothra appears it's usually to be the savior of Earth; often doing battle with Godzilla, Battra, King Ghidorah, Death Ghidorah, Gigan, Dagahra, Monster X and the Sea Monster.

(who is Mothra? Why are we playing such suspenseful music? You'll have to watch this 3 minute trailer to find out!)

(sing little ladies, sing!)

This piece was acquired through Planet Retro Gallery out of St Pete, Florida. I was nothing but impressed with the selection and prices at the store, as well as the owner's knowledge. He admitted it was a bootleg he picked up in Chinatown in the late 90's and had sold all but this one and couldn't guarantee that it worked or not. I love a restoration challenge, and even if it never works it's still a heck of a shelf piece for a portion of the price of the original. You just rarely get that sort of honesty from a collectibles shop. It's a factor that keeps me coming back for his monthly sales.

(adult toy or sofubi?)

(ribbed for your pleasure)

The rubber used for the skin of Larva Mothra is very similar to the original release from Bandai, the only different thing is the color. The bootleg is a very light green with white slopped across to bring out the texture while the original is a light bronze with silver and black accents along the body. After some slight tinkering and cleaning, I was able to restore the mechanical crawling function. From a restoration point of view, the components I worked on were of a lower quality than I would expect to be in the Bandai version. With two AA batteries, the bug “crawls” along with the aide of a wheel underneath while rearing his head back and lighting up it's red eyes. A real achievement for my collection and my restoration skills.

(lookin' up Mothra's skirt)

Kaiju Lagoon- mini jumbo sized King Joe by Bandai

King Joe was sent by the Pedan aliens as their main weapon to conquer Earth. Arriving on Earth in the form of 4 ships, the Pedan's ultimate weapon laid siege to a naval fleet until they garnered the attention of the Ultraseven crew. By the time they arrived to provide a counter-attack, King Joe was long gone and on to it's next target. As the four ships arrived at a U.N. Embassy they combined to reveal King Joe's full form, a giant frickin' robot with some strange protrusions (ie- giant electrode tits on his head, a rainbow window chest and what I can only describe as bongos on his ass and hips.) Even with the countermeasures hidden at the embassy, King Joe seemed near indestructible.

(pretty decent scenes)

Ultraseven soon showed up to save the day but couldn't seem to breach King Joe's Pedantic Armor. Soon after exhausting a good deal of his energy, Ultraseven found himself pinned to the ground and became the recipient of some absolutely viscious bitch slaps, courtesy of King Joe. At this point Ultraseven decides the best thing to do is pass the fuck out and hope this alien quits pummeling him.

As King Joe turns his back to Ultraseven, the hero lunges forward and knocks King Joe on his glorious golden ass. Incapable of getting back up again(most likely due to his bongo ass), King Joe splits into the four ships and flees with Ultraseven in pursuit.

It was then revealed that the reason for King Joe's attack on the Embassy was due to a scientist who had found a chemical that is highly reactive with Pedantic Armor, which also explained why the Pedan Aliens have come to Earth as well. King Joe returns, arriving in Tokyo Bay where it trashes a few oil tankers till Ultraseven shows back up. King Joe once again totally owns Ultraseven in a pretty decent fight, even though his weakness is getting knocked on his ass. But Ultraseven has a WMD full of that Pedantic reactive chemical which he shoots at King Joe, short-circuiting and destroying the robot once and for all.

King Joe is in my top 5 favorite Ultraman bad guys (in no particular order Baltan, King Joe, Dada, Pestar and Red King). As the Ultraman story evolves, so do his villains but this version of King Joe is my favorite. No techno cannon, no monotone paint scheme, just very true to the original design. Simple and slick looking with the perfect shade of gold on his suit and a rainbow effect through the “honeycomb” on his chest. The main thing I like about the figure is it's huge! Over 12 inches tall and with some serious weight to him, I've been impressed and desired this figure for years and was finally lucky enough to acquire one through Planet Retro Gallery care of my wife for Valentines day.

Ultraman's Satan Beetle from Bandai

Satan Beetle is the monster "pet" of Alien Clean, who was sent to our planet seeking vengeance on Earth for the missile testing that decimated her home world. Satan Beetle's task was to wipe out humanity and all the pollution they had caused to presumably allow Alien Clean to colonize Earth. Upon it's arrival to Earth, Satan Beetle doesn't waste any time and proceeds to destroy everything in it's path. Soon enough, Ultraman Leo decides to battle the gigantic insectoid kaiju in order to save humanity once again. To be honest, it's a fairly quick fight where Ultraman Leo stomps the crap out of Satan Beetle and even tears one of it's wings off with a lazer finger blast. The brutal fight ends with a mighty Leo Kick and Satan Beetle sparks up like a firecracker and explodes in true Japanese TV fashion.

(dig that crazy 70's synth beat)

The figure is fairly basic, it looks like a friggin' bug covered in horns. The paint scheme is dull but so was the character design in the show. Basic sofubi articulation at the shoulders, neck and hips; really nothing exciting here. Overall, Satan Beetle isn't one of my favorite characters from the Ultraman Saga and I've yet to find any hardcore fans of him either. I think it's just the overbearing tones of the character's model, a creation sent to Earth to destroy us for being dirty and inadvertently destroying a planet that 99.999% of us didn't know was even out there. Even the episode, with the exception of Ultraman beating the everloving shit out of the monster, feels like a 30 minute Greenpeace commercial.

(toy porn, because you deserve it)

Powered Aboras from Ultraman by Bandai

Ultraman has had such a colorful array of evil monsters to battle over the years. Some of them range from the totally believable to the extremely bizarre and everywhere in between. Over the years his villains have gone through amazing overhauls where their physical appearance and abilities have been augmented with technology and magical powers. As the Ultraman saga has evolved over the last several decades, so has he and his opponents. Aboras is one of those many characters

(a shot of the original costume. Lots of reused elements)

(not only a battle of the behemoths, but in a stadium no less) 

Often being mistaken for a blue Godzilla-like creature by those not aware of it, this creature has been around since some of the most early incarnations of the saga. In the Ultraman Powered story, Aboras is one of two ancient devil beasts (or kaiju) sealed away in a magical sarcophagus' long ago in an attempt to save the world from their terror. His arch-nemesis is Banila, a red bipedal monster with almost matched skills. When both tombs were “accidentally” unearthed, both of these titans decided to battle it out until only one was left standing. In the first incarnation, Aboras won and was destroyed shortly after by Ultraman. The second time around Aboras seemed to be victorious but Banila reformed and both were destroyed by Ultraman and the WINR by using a combination of high frequency sound to stun them and a Mega Spectrum Ray to vaporize them.

(new and improved)

Aboras' reintroduction into the Ultraman saga was met with a complete upgrade. Because of budget constraints, Aboras was an altered Red King costume painted blue and a new head. The Powered version has a really cool tyrannosaurus rex look with a tadpole-like tail while keeping the more elongated arms and horn on his head. The figure captures every aspect of the redesign, especially capturing every single bumpy scale along the body. It's a really substantial toy and feels really good in your hand. He's not really oversized to any degree, just big considering the fact he's a friggin' mutant T-Rex. The figure fits in well with the rest of the series and (from what I can tell) is in scale.