Raging Nerdgasm blogs - 'Rasslin' figure throw down

I've been a pro wrestling fan for a very long time. I was always fond to the toys and played with the ones my cousin's house when I visited. I always got stuck playing with the B and C roster guys while he got to be Hulk Hogan or Jake 'the snake' Roberts. It was always a sort of one side ass kicking contest when I had to be Virgil or the Berzerker or (for God's sake) Texas Tornado. I never had any of my own till I was much older and the JAKKS toys WWF figures were the big thing. I've since sold off all my JAKKS figures (except for a few) and invested my money in improving my LJN, Remco and Hasbro wrestling figure collection. While I'm not a completest (well, except for the LJN figures because they display so well), I've only really grabbed what I've come across that I've liked. I'd like to give you the top 6 wrestling figures, in my opinion of course and in no particular order. Why top 6? I'm giving you more than 5, what do you want from me?


Vampiro Canadiense from CMLL wrestling

Oh glorious Canada! Land of snow, maple syrup, hockey, and dreadlocked goth wrestlers that know Spanish and hang out with ICP. Wait, what? This amateur pro wrestler turned amateur hockey star turned rock & roll drifter turned Mexican wrestling star turned Mexican soap opera star turned WCW wrestler turned goth rapper allegedly got his training from none other than Abdullah the Butcher, one of the most brutal pro wrestlers before "hardcore wrestling"  was even a thing (also makes some damned mediocre BBQ, look it up). Anyways, with such a unique look you'd think companies would have been chomping at the bit trying to get a figure made of the Canadian Vampire, right? Well, not exactly.

Back in the early 90s, a toymaker made CMLL (Consejo Mudial de Lucha Libre) figures of all the top stars of the time. These were nice, sturdy, hard plastic figurines just shy of the official LJN WWF figure size that came on gray cards with lots of good graphics and live pictures from the actual events. The figure assortment included international greats like El Ultimo Dragon and many others. But the stand out figure was Vampiro. He was a very sought after figure for the time he was active in WCW and even after that while he was in ICP's wrestling association. Sadly, in 1992 I saw them at a discount store at the local mall for a little over a buck a piece and my mom gave me the choice of all 6 different CMLL figures or 3 Dick Tracy figures (they were slightly more expensive), I made a boner move and went for Dick Tracy figures.

 I was never one to pay top price for a figure I was only mildly attracted to. I had the Toy Biz WCW figures (the ones with the very cool rooted dreads) but I still kind of wanted it. I recently picked up this figure while at a friend of mine's collectibles store in Downtown St Pete. I've talked about going into Planet Retro a lot but the store has some really awesome stuff that keeps you coming back over and over again. On the top of a bin full of loose LJN figures I found Vampiro in not exactly the best of condition. I got a very good deal on the figure (I bought a bunch of stuff at the same time so I'm not sure what the breakdown was and I don't really care), went home and washed him down in warm soapy water, used acetone to remove all the stray marks and strip the paint off of his hair and upper tights and touched the whole thing up in Vallejo paints. It's for my personal collection and if I do sell him down the road (the market has certainly cooled for demand of this figure so he'd have to die or start wrestling again for value to increase) I make no bones about letting someone know I've touched up the figure significantly.


Abdullah the Butcher from Remco's AWA line

 
Outside of the really awful one released about 10 years ago, this was the only figure ever made in his likeness. The detail wasn't the greatest but this is just about a 30 year old figure. Like I mentioned before, Abdullah the Butcher was the godfather of hardcore wrestling before it was a thing and I admire that watching some of his old matches from overseas. Also, it marked a change in Remco's basic figure design. A new torso was created to produce wrestlers a little more accurately who weren't as muscular as the rest. He's a cool figure and really the best one they've made so far.


The Giant from Toy Biz WCW series one

I always thought this was the best figure out of the first half dozen series Toy Biz produced. They stayed in the same vein as the Hasbro figures and unfortunately that worked against the figures most of the time. Action features got squeezed into every figure and rarely did they work as intended and most of them made the figure look ridiculously misshapen. The likenesses were hit and miss but some got it close enough. The Giant mixed that almost got it likenesses with silly action feature that actually worked well enough. The choke slam feature sometimes threw the opposing figure across the ring, which was good enough for me since it was the freakin' Giant.


The Great Khali from JAKKS WWF Ruthless Aggression line

Not a great wrestler but a great figure. Huge, imposing and a totally unique sculpt is what really attracts me. The face, captured in mid primordial scream, also is an attractive feature. Probably very much needed because with a closed mouth this guy looks like one of those Easter Island heads. While JAKKS was in business, they got as much mileage out of this sculpt because we all know toy companies try to avoid too many unique molds. The more unique bodies or accessories, the higher the price gets. Still one of my favorite releases from the JAKKS WWF line.



Doink the Clown from Hasbro's WWF line

Take a line full of squat, burly looking men and add a clown with real rooted hair. Marketing brilliance indeed. This figure was sought after upon it's release and didn't cool off for several years. Now, I've bought numerous collections in the past and I never see this figure loose. The ones I find online loose don't have particularly good paint jobs due to being played with rough. I don't have many of the Hasbro WWF figures, if I had to guess it would be less than a dozen and I've used most for customs, but I do have a Doink in fairly good condition. I think I'd more than likely shit myself if a muscle-bound clown the likes of this came running at me. I don't scare easy but damn if that face isn't terrifying.


George "the Animal" Steele from JAKKS Classic Superstars

JAKKS WWF classic superstars line brought the fans an amazing amount of awesome figures over it's 20+ series releases. Everything from nWo Hogan, Brutus Beefcake, Shockmaster and even Kona Krush (but no "Macho Man" Randy Savage, sigh!) but one of the most memorable releases was George "the Animal" Steele. He wasn't much different than the rest of the series; great attention to detail and a really good likeness....is that HAIR? Yes, they glued "real" hair to his chest. George, outside of Prince Albert, was probably the hairiest wrestler to ever step in a ring. JAKKS gave us that extra added realism by furnishing a fuzzy figure for the fans.


Honorable mention!

Slick from LJN WWF wrestling superstars

An 8 inch rubber pimp (in)action figure. He was literally the watered down version of Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch. The removable hat was a nice touch.

Your weekly Nerdgasm 03/18/2013

                    Jurassic Park IV, Beetlejuice II and The Rock Says he wants to be in Star Wars Ep. VII




Pack a snack, we're going back to the park-

Just after the first of the year, Universal Studios released a statement that indeed Jurassic Park IV was once again a go. There's been at least 3 false starts to the ever looming 4th part to the saga, even Spielberg himself wanted to end the movies on a better note than we were left with in Jurassic Park III (which had plot holes big enough to swallow a T-Rex whole). Colin Trevorrow has been selected as director while script writers Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver, of Rise of the Planet of the Apes fame, have already finished the script. With bearded McBillions himself Steven Spielberg as executive producer the movie has been slated for a mid June release next year.

It still leaves a lot of question brewing in fan's heads. Where will it take place? Who from the original cast will return for their "jump the shark" last hurrah? How deeply buried is that awful screenplay that involved human/dinosaur DNA mixing? And if all these questions have you itching to pull out your DVD or VHS of Jurassic Park, just wait till April 5th and you can see the film that spawned two really poorly planned sequels in theaters in 3D!

(what could have been......you hope.)

It's showtime! (again?)

Yes, the end of last week brought some exciting news to fans still holding on to the hope of a sequel to the 1988 paranormal comedy Beetlejuice. The picture below was posted on Seth Grahame-Smith's Twitter account to tease fans always asking about the fate of his script for the upcoming movie. With his past penning of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, I'm sure he's doing a fine job breathing life into the corpse of this over-hashed sequel. Two years ago when someone somewhere mentioned it; Geena Davis, Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder all said they were game to reprise their roles in some capacity. Let's face it, those three haven't seen legit work in years and would probably do Frosted Flakes commercial cameo if you promised a warm meal and gas money. Keaton is supposed to have something to the effect of a supporting role in the RoboCop reboot but that has yet to be seen in more than production stills.

Now talks of a Beetlejuice sequel have been floating in the air since the movie made back it's initial investment five times over, spawned a toy line and a Saturday morning cartoon as well as catapulted Tim Burton to superstar director status. That led Burton into the director's chair of the first two Batman movies, Edward Scissorhands, Nightmare Before Christmas and Mars Attacks. While his work as of late hasn't charmed us like it used to, if they allowed the original idea for the impending sequel "Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian", his body of work would have far less impressive and the world may have never gotten to know Johnny Depp which I'm not sure if that would have been a good thing or a bad thing. Anyways, Burton has expressed interest in directing another adventure into the hereafter. Beetlejuice is available on DVD and Bluray.

Skywalker, can you smell what the Rock is cookin'?

Yes, former WWF multiple time champion Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has expressed a serious interest in getting a role in the upcoming Disney/LucasFilms Star Wars Ep VII. Doesn't that sound like a bad idea? Well, not just the whole Rock wanting to be in the new Star Wars movie but the whole there's going to be new Star Wars movies in general. Doesn't it sound like a bad idea the more and more it's brought up? With the Star Wars saga rich with existing characters and all the new ones they'll be creating just for the next 3 films, not too many of them call for a giant, muscle-bound mountain of man meat. I mean, we all remember his breakout role in the Mummy 2 as the Scorpion King? Even the spin-off franchise only starred Dwayne Johnson for the first movie and moved on to some other professional fighter reprising the role for the second part. I'll be honest, I never watched the second film and only have fragmented memories of the first movie. All I remember is I was far from amused and even the action figures were lackluster and dull.

Anyways, the Rock won't be satisfied till he's ruined everything from your childhood. First GI Joe, then Star Wars.....what's next? He-Man? M.A.S.K? Power Rangers? My Little Pony?

On a side note, Dave Bautista of former WWF fame has been confirmed as Drax the Destroyer for the upcoming Disney/Marvel release Guardians of the Galaxy and I'm totally cool with that. Seriously, paint Dave Bautista green and there you go.....DONE!

Oversized Hulk Hogan figure from LJN

Outside of Jakks Pacific, Hasbro held the WWF (and I will call it the WWF till the day I die, FU tree hugging panda cuddlers.) license for the 2^nd longest that any company held it. It might actually be a tie between Hasbro and Jakks but when it comes down to it, nothing is more nostalgic than those heavy rubber wrestling figures from LJN. Near their 4^th line of basic figures, LJN released two oversized wrestlers; Hulk Hogan and Rowdy Roddy Piper. Both figures were over the 12 inch mark and featured five points of articulation and had cloth clothing accessory ( Hogan's “HULKAMANIA” shirt and Piper's Kilt)and a title belt. LJN figures, both these large figures and the smaller rubber ones, had really decent likenesses considering this was 20 years before digital scanning was refined and used widely. Sometimes it's almost amazing to think someone hand sculpted these since other figure lines of the same era were made in the same fashion but never looked as good as these figures did.

(1984 LJN TV AD)

(1990 HASBRO AD)

This video won't post but watch it and try not to laugh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwJJ3yBsvAw

I was never a huge Pipper fan (not until I got older and really liked his half senile rage fits) but being a native of the Tampa Bay area, Hulk Hogan was my idol. He told me to eat my vitamins, drink my milk and say my prayers; am I right? People like my mom and dad remembered when he played in a local band and when he first started lacing up his boots at local exhibitions as Terry Boulder. I grew up avidly watching WWF on Saturday evenings, Hulk Hogan's Rock & Wrestling was part of my Saturday morning cartoon watching schedule and one of my first VHS tapes was the first Wrestlemania. It really wasn't till about 2006 that I stopped watching WWF altogether. The stories got stale and boring and the action in the ring got lame. I turned to King of Trios along with other non-mainstream wrestling promotions to get my fix for pro wrestling.

(still  makes me smile to this day)

(suck on that WWE) 

                     

Also, these titans I had admired as a child had grown older as I had. They'd seemed immortal when I was younger, the harsh reality had set in that they weren't.

(watch the Hulkster age before your very eyes)

It wasn't till recent history that I actually bought the large scale Hulk Hogan and even more recent history that I got the cloth shirt to put on my figure. When I got Hogan he was a real mess. Covered in paint smudges and stray marks from permanent marker, I furiously attacked him with Mr. Clean magic erasures and cotton balls soaked in nail polish remover. The previous owner had branded the bottom of the Hulkster's left foot with his name, like any other possessive little boy would that has younger/older brothers. The cloth shirt was obtained in a trade with a fellow from one of the message boards I visit along with the more recent large scale Hulk Hogan from Jakks Pacific (which I sold a while back but really happy to have it in my possession again). I'm only a title belt away from completing Hogan, but it's been a fun scavenger hunt so far and I'm looking forward to finishing it.